Palm of His Hand

     Two years ago this weekend, we found a tick burrowed into Eric's scalp and removed it as we have in the past. As you will read in this story, we later discovered the tick was infected with Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever. An infected tick, in Holland, Ohio, at the baseball field where we attended a game, just happened to land on my son and stay there for approximately 20 hours, the time it takes for Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever to be transmitted. It was the most random of occurrences that began the story of the most deliberate interventions by God, as he held Eric in the palm of His hand.. 

The Dream :

     The night before my last day of work for the school year, I had a terrible dream. There had been a death in my dream. I felt the ache in my insides; the sadness in the dream was palpable, yet I didn't know who died. Right before I woke up, it was revealed in my dream that the person who died was a child. At the very last second of the dream, I discovered that the child was Noah. I woke and was extremely rattled. It was the type of dream that stays with you, and coupled with the lingering sadness, there was joy and relief that it was just a dream. Today, I believe with all of my heart, mind, and soul that God was saying, " Something is about to happen, Audrey, and I need you to be vigilant." Palm of His Hand, only I didn't see it so clearly at the time.

The Phone Call:

     I arrived at work, still rattled by my dream, so I shared it with my friend. We had the usual "thankful it was just a dream" discussion, and I began the work of the day: packing up the classroom for the summer. I was excited, and the heaviness of my dream was dissipating. My cell phone rang, and upon answering it I heard, "Mom, Eric has a fever." Noah, who was the subject of my rattling dream, was now calling to tell me his youngest brother was sick. My first thought was, "Seriously, one of my kids is sick after a dream like that?!" It felt like a twisted piece of irony. In my mind, there was the logical reasoning that it was just a coincidence and just a typical virus. In my heart, however, there was an increased desire to watch him closely. Palm of His Hand, only I didn't see it so clearly at the time.

The Symptoms:

     Eric is my 3rd child, so I had seen many viruses come and go in our home. This felt different. There was no obvious source of sickness. No sore throat, no stomach ache, no ear pain, just a fever. When the fever would get very high, Eric would act strangely. His body would jerk, especially while sleeping, and a couple of times he acted like he was confused. By the second day, he developed a rash and we thought he was one of the 'lucky' ones to get chicken pox, even though he'd been vaccinated. We watched for blisters to form, but none did. At this point, Eric had a very high fever, a rash, and late in the night of the second day, he began to limp and cry when he walked, from pain in his legs. Something was very wrong; I could feel it. Palm of His Hand, only I didn't see it so clearly at the time.

The Parental Intuition:

     On the 3rd day, I woke to find Eric with a temperature of nearly 105. I called the doctor's office and said I was bringing him in. As I drove Eric there, I tried to figure out what he could possibly have! This was so different: fever, headache, leg pain, body jerking, normal appetite, no congestion, no sign of a reason. What the heck was wrong with my child?! I remember exactly where I was during the drive when I thought, " Oh, my God..the tick!"  I remembered that we'd removed a tick from Eric's head about 12 days prior, and I attempted to piece things together in my mind. Maybe it takes that long to show symptoms, maybe that is why this illness seems so strange, etc. In the waiting room, I sent Chris a text message to ask him what he thought, and he immediately sent: YES! Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever!!!! I didn't even have time to process that thought, because Eric's name was called and into the office we went.

     The doctor examined him and agreed that there didn't seem to be an obvious source of illness. It must be a virus but because the tick incident was recent, he was started on an antibiotic for Lyme's Disease, as a precaution. I was relieved, until later that night.

     We put him to bed, after his 3rd antibiotic treatment, and he was not one ounce better. He cried when he walked, he cried because his head hurt, his fever was high, and he didn't look like Eric. Sitting in the family room, I 'went there'. I went to the place that moms sometimes go, the place that imagines the worst happening to her child. The only problem, the 'place' I went to didn't seem that far away. I actually said these words to Chris: "I know you are going to think I am crazy, but I really feel like something is wrong. Like really wrong. Like I fear "you-know-what." Two years later, I honestly believe that somehow I was feeling the presence of real danger. It was a heavy, sinking feeling that wouldn't go away. I thought Chris would respond in a way that confirmed I was being ridiculous. I tried to tell myself I was just paranoid. Chris responded, "Audrey, something is wrong. I know he doesn't have Lyme's Disease. I know he has Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever. Chris randomly remembered his parents talking about it when he was a kid. That's all Chris had to go on! We had parental intuition and a previous experience. Palm of His Hand, only I didn't see it so clearly at the time.

The Diagnosis and Treatment:

     Chris got Eric out of bed and took him to the emergency room with the specific purpose of pleading his case that it was RMSF. The emergency room doctor's sister had Lyme's Disease when they were kids and she too thought that this wasn't it! Further research of Chris' theory led to the diagnosis of RMSF.  Eric began a different antibiotic, and at about 3 am, the ER was preparing to send Eric home. Simultaneously, I was researching RMSF. I was reading about the 5-day window to treat it, the fact that hospitalization was necessary, and I read of 6 cases that resulted in the death of children. Each case I read had the exact same leg pain, headache, fever, rash, and each child died within 6-9 days after the presence of the first symptom. Chris called to tell me Eric was coming home at the same time I was preparing to tell him that he can't come home! To assuage my fears, the ER called our pediatrician and we were given instructions to take Eric to Toledo Children's Hospital. Upon arrival, his liver was tender and enlarged, his kidneys were barely putting out urine, his enzymes were elevated, and his platelets were low. Our pediatrician told us that he was a very sick little boy and that he would be admitted. It was explained to us that the antibiotic would stop the progression of RMSF, but it was up to Eric's body to fight what was already there. Basically, his body had to catch up to the antibiotic. Eric had a tough few days, and one night in particular, I look back on in a way that makes me grateful *every* day that he is here with us. Palm of His Hand, only I didn't see it so clearly at the time.

Why I Share:

     Eric's story has a happy ending and the gratitude I have for that will never fade, but that is not the only reason I share this story. 

     Some may wonder why I would post this two years later. It's because of the conviction I have that God was with us from my dream to Eric's diagnosis, and I believe he wants me to share this story. Did he make this happen? No, God doesn't cause illness, but He did know it was going to happen, and He held Eric all the way through it. When I feel strongly that God whispered, shouted, led, carried, and guided us through something in our life, I have to share it, joyfully and unapologetically. To Him belongs the glory.

     When I sat down to write the original account of this story, two years ago, I searched my heart for the perfect title. I think I even prayed about it. After deciding on the title, Palm of His Hand, I wrote the account and marveled at the perfection of the title. The *next* day, I remembered something I had completely forgotten. The rash on Eric's body had one distinguishing feature that set it apart from all other rashes and pointed to Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever...It was on the palms of Eric's hands.

 I will forever see it so clearly.