May Her Ripple Never Still

         As I write this, a beautiful soul is completing a journey marked profoundly by love. Love so freely given to anyone whom God placed in her life. “Love one another as I have loved you”, is a command to all of us from Jesus, but to Debbie, it was a reflex that came as naturally as breathing. I know, because I am one of many who were blessed to be loved by her.

To explain who Debbie was to me is difficult, because it was not a relationship many people would have continued (through the latter part of high school and into early college, I dated her son), yet the fact that she did allow me to continue to be a special person to her, and her to me, is a perfect example of the kind of love she gave.  For her and I to stay connected for so long *is* extraordinary, because*Debbie* was extraordinary.

As a young high school girl, Debbie helped me in ways neither she nor anyone else will ever fully understand. God knows. He knows because He allowed my life path to intersect with hers, at a time He knew I would need her the most.

  As the years passed by, I just became Audrey to her, and she became ‘My Debbie’. I couldn’t call her ‘My Mom’, although I loved her like one. It didn’t seem enough to call her ‘My Friend’, although she always was a friend to me. So, in my heart, she became ‘My Debbie’ and to me, it encompassed all that she meant to me: my friend, my role model, my supporter, my blessing, and it will now forever mean a part of ‘my heart’.

The most amazing thing I can say about Debbie is that anyone reading this, who was privileged to know her, is thinking, “No, she was *my* Debbie. She loved *me* that way." And the beautiful thing is, it’s true.

To touch a life is to send a ripple, whose effects are far -reaching and everlasting. While remaining in touch with Debbie was distant, with only occasional phone calls, cards, and a rare visit from time to time, the ripple effect of the way she touched my life more than 20 years ago, has added immeasurably to my life. Debbie touched *so* many lives that this world is forever marked by her love.

The best way I can think to honor her, is to learn to love like she did, so her ripple never stills. I pray God shows me how to be a ‘My Debbie’ to someone, someday, who needs what she gave to me.

Thank you, My Debbie, for allowing me to be one of the many people with whom you shared your heart. I hope you know how much you will *always* mean to me and how much I love you. 

If a person's life is measured by the love one shows to others, God is preparing to call Home a child who gives Him great joy. I hope as she looks into His loving eyes, she hears, "Well done, my good and faithful servant. You *have* loved one another as I have loved you. Take my hand, and I'll show you all you've done."

God speed, my friend, my role model, my supporter, my blessing, my part of my heart...My Debbie.

My Own Understanding...

I am privileged to have become a group leader for something at my church called Life Support. Depression and anxiety is something I've battled for many, many years. Unless you're someone who knows me very well, you didn't know this about me. It's something I've learned to live with and now, I get to lead others to the same kind of hope! It's inspiring and it strengthens *me*! Imagine that.

At a recent Life Support gathering, our director led a talk and dissected the following verse: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, Acknowledge Him in all ways and He will make your paths straight. She took each part and discussed it, thoroughly. This was several weeks ago and I have to tell you, the 'Lean not on your own understanding' has been a huge source of comfort, direction, growth, and yes, a challenge for me! It truly, truly, truly changes perspective!

My own understanding is so limited. It's limited by my thought process, my emotions, my wounds, my pride, my desire to be right, my tendency to jump to conclusions, my sensitivity, and my human sinful nature. WOW! Knowing all of that, why would I *want* to lean on my own understanding? It's the breeding ground for misconceptions, misunderstandings, misspeaking, and mistakes!!

Think about it. Our own understanding says if someone hurts us we better put up a wall, or (ashamed to admit)...find a way to hurt back. His understanding says to forgive, love, try to find the why behind the what...it's the place called mercy.

Our own understanding allows us to feel threatened. His understanding teaches us to trust. If something *is* amiss, He will take care of it, anyway! In His time and in His way.

Our own understanding allows us to pine for the things others have, or to compete...even if we don't realize we are competing. His understanding reminds us that greater is He that is in you than He that is of the world. Yes, we *are* wired to want more. We will *not* be satisfied until we get it. But, the "more"...isn't material wealth. It's not a better job, an easier relationship, a newer car, a smaller body, a better-behaved child...it's a relationship with God. Everyone knows 'about' Him. We were born to know Him. The peace about this can't come from our own understanding. It has to come from His.

Lastly, if you struggle to even believe in Him and the promises and plans he has for *your* life, or you think that's fine for other people, but I don't need this religious stuff, I can promise you, that's *your* understanding talking. First, it's not about religion. Religion is sadly keeping people from God, if that makes any sense to you. It's about a relationship directly with Him. It's what He wants more than anything, and what we *need* more than anything. 

Our understanding of God is as limited as a mouse's understanding of the computer you're sitting at. There *is* no way to explain to the mouse the intricacies of a computer. It doesn't make the computer any less real. Don't wait to understand until you accept. His understanding is the only thing that can make your relationship with Him make sense. Until you start that relationship, you can't lean on that understanding. :)

Wherever you are in your faith, make today a day you begin to question your reaction to people, comments, actions, situations, assumptions, etc. Stop and say, "I'm *not* leaning on my own understanding on this. I don't like how this feels and I will lean on yours, God. He *will* make your paths straight.

It has helped me and I wanted to share....

:)